The Broken Girl
by jTalley
Summary: Olivia was Broken. Fitz was trying to be her savior. Would she let him? Or will she forever be broken.
1. Chapter 1

**My First Scandal Fanfiction! Hope you guys like it. Check out my profile on Fanfiction (and my blog). This will be all about Olivia and Fitz, I hope you enjoy it.**

I look into his eyes and all I see is love. Pure love. Something that every girl wants and sees's in the movies. Something that I hope to have one day. Something that I will never have because I am damaged goods. I am not worthy of love. I am not lovable. I am now that damaged girl that no guy wants. So as I look into his eyes I know that wants he gets to know me he will not have love in his eyes anymore. It will be disgust and pity. Pity because he will know my story and disgust because he actually thought that he could love me.

So in that moment that I looked up at him in the street, I knew that this guy would be my undoing. All of the walls that I had around my emotions would be broken. I knew that if I did not leave right away cracks would start to form in my walls and it would be only a matter of time before everything hidden started to pour out.

This man could be my soul mate. But this man would also be my undoing.

I love you Fitzgerald Grant. But I cannot have you.

"Olivia I…"

"Please just leave me alone. This isn't good for me" I replied with tears in my eyes

"Just let me tell you how I feel" He tried to get out the rest but I would not let him

"Please just…I cannot…I am not worthy of love. Nor do I need it. Just let me go. Please just let me go" I cried to him

"I do not ever want to let you go. Whether you want to hear it or not I love you Olivia! Always and forever so don't you forget it?" He cried at me

I knew in that moment that I would have to lie to him

"Well I don't love you"

He looked at me like I had slapped him. I knew I just had to finish it.

"I never did. And I never want to see you again."

With that I ran away from him. I ran away from the only love I knew. Because I was scared and afraid that it would not last.


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you guys like this new chapter. Remember to review this story so I know people actually like it. Enjoy!**

"Argh, who is calling me right now" I mumbled into my pillow

I picked up my phone and read the screen. CYRUS was flashing on my screen and at that moment I knew that Fitz had probably called him after we had our last encounter.

_Flashback: _

_"Well I don't love you"_

_He looked at me like I had slapped him. I knew I just had to finish it._

_"I never did. And I never want to see you again."_

End Flashback:

I should have known Fitz was not going to let me go that easily. I also should have known that he would have called my godfather and told him of the fight we had. But Cyrus would understand my point, once I decided to call him back. I just was not ready to face or speak to anyone for a while. But I knew that I at least needed to make some kind of contact with the outside world or else Cyrus or Fitz would send the hounds on me and I would never be alone after that.

I picked up my phone and dialed Huck

"Hey"

"Huck I need you to book a hotel room for me in Boston" I stated right away, knowing that Huck wasn't one for formalities

"Done. But when do you want the room ready and for how long?" he replied right away. I could hear the keys that he was pressing as I told him what I needed.

"I plan to be there tomorrow and stay there until next Monday. I just need you to make sure that no one will know that I am staying at that Hotel. Can you do that Huck?"

"Of course, do you need me to do anything else Olivia?"

"No, I'm good. I'm going to head out tomorrow and I won't be back in the office till Tuesday so tell the gang that they have the rest of the week off and have some fun. Okay"

"Alright Olivia" I could tell that he was hesitant about asking me something

"Go ahead and ask me Huck" I knew he was going to ask if this was about Fitz. He was the only one in the office that I told everything to.

"Is this trip about Fitz? He did not do anything to you did he?"

"No I just… I need time to comprehend some parts of our relationship and staying in D.C. is not going to help me think."

"Okay but I want you to know that you can count on me if you need anything"

"Thank you Huck"

He hung up. We weren't friends that needed to talk about every detail. That's what made him so important to me. He never pressed me for information and I never pressed him about his problems. But we were always there for each other for support. No matter what.

Here goes nothing. I had decided to finally call Cyrus back after he had been calling me all day. Probably to ask if I was okay and if he needed to come over.

Here goes nothing. I thought just as I hit the talk button.

The phone answered on one ring

"OLIVIA ARE YOU OKAY" screamed Cyrus into my ear

"Cy, I'm fine. I just did not feel up to talking to anyone right now or anytime soon. I know you care about me…." "Of course I care" CY interrupted "You're the only family I have left"

"I know CY; I just do not want to think about yesterday. Especially the fight and what I told him in the heat of the moment."

"Olivia, you really need to talk to him. You know how Fitz is he will not stop till he at least see's you again. Give him a chance before you run…" "How do you know I am going to run?" I interrupted him

"Liv, I have known you since you were born. When bad things happen or you do not want to face something serious you like to run away."

"Well, I just need some time to come to a conclusion. Then I will talk to him again. Is that okay with you?" I asked him

"Sure as long as you promise to tell me where you are staying"

"Cy"

"Olivia"

"Alright I got Huck to get me a Hotel in Boston. I plan on seeing the sites and hopefully clearing my mind for the next couple of days." I replied

"Olivia" Cyrus said

"Okay, okay. I'm staying in the Boston Center Hotel under the name Natasha Clear" I finally replied

"You know I just want to make sure that you are safe. Even though I know you have Huck making sure that everything is secure."

"I know Cy. But just make sure that you DO NOT tell Fitz where I am staying. Please" I begged Cyrus

"Okay I will not. But please talk to him soon. Okay"

"Okay Cy. I'm going to go now"

After I hung up the phone I felt like I had just run a marathon. "Urgh" why is my life so complicated. Well I should at least start packing before I leave tomorrow. I needed this vacation. Or really I needed this break from my life.


	3. Chapter 3

***As always I do not own Scandal (but doesn't everyone wish they did). **

**Alright everyone new chapter. This chapter explains what happened to Olivia and how she and Fitz first met. Hope you like it. And please comment so I actually know if people like what I am writing. Thanks***

After packing up my bags and placing them by the door, I decided to order in some Chinese food. I was holding on to hope that I would not get a visitor tonight from Fitz. However, I knew that if I did not call him back soon I would be getting a visit before the night was over. That is just how our relation was. How it will always be.

_Fitz and I were introduced by Cyrus. I had decided to start my crisis firm in D.C. to be near my only family. Cyrus had no problem with me crashing at his, James and my two year old goddaughter Ella house until I found my new home. _

_Fitz happened to be an associate Professor at the same college that Cyrus worked at. They became buddies over talking politics. I was used to Cyrus talking about Fitz whenever I would call him and see how he was doing, so it wasn't a surprise to me that on my first day of living in DC Fitz was invited over to dinner. What I expected him to be like was how I pictured Cyrus, a little on the chubby side, balding a bit and short. Basically I was expecting a mini Cyrus in the making. But boy was I wrong. I was walking down the stairs when the doorbell rang. When the door was opened I knew I was in heaven. Fitz was gorgeous. He was tall, had a swimmers build, short but curly brown hair, and the most amazing blue eyes that I have ever seen. I almost started to get mad at Cyrus for hiding this HOT guy. But as soon as these thoughts of him flooded my mind I knew that there was no way he would be into a girl like me. The only one who knew about what happened one year ago in Boston was Huck. _

_I was in a relationship with my then boyfriend Edison. Edison and I had been dating for about two years and even though I was not madly in love with him I knew that I would always be protected and secure with him. _

_It was a Saturday night when my world shifted. From the moment that the day had started something felt off. Edison was acting a bit strange but I put it off as him being a bit nervous about me meeting some of his family members. It was later in the day when LeRoy and Roger came over to Edison and my apartment. When I first meet them at the door they gave off this aura of bad news. But like I always did when I was with Edison I went with the flow. Dinner was an awkward affair. Both LeRoy and Roger kept hitting on me the entire night. When I complained to Edison about it he just shrugged it off and said I was being sensitive. When desert was served I excused myself to head to the bathroom. After I left the bathroom I went back into our kitchen. Edison had refilled my wine glass with a bottle that the cousins had brought over from home. I did not want to be rude so I had some of it. I was so naïve that even after I started to get a headache I did not stop drinking the wine because I did not want to be rude. All I can remember from that point on is random moments of the night. I remember excusing myself to go to bed, struggling to get Edison and the twins off of me, trying to leave the bed and finally crying naked in the bathtub after the whole ordeal was over. _

_Huck found me that morning after I did not return any of his phone calls. Edison had left town after that he did not return. I found out later that he had some fancy new job offer in Texas that he could not refuse. I never felt more humiliated in my life. Huck convinced me to go to therapy. It helped but some nights I wake up in a cold sweat. Edison and the twins took my sense of security. Anytime I get asked on dates I just can't seem to trust them. I constantly look over my shoulder and I have to sleep with a night light. It was not the life that I ever expected to live. I never pressed charges and a part of me knows that Edison did what he did because he knew that I would not want to subject myself to that kind of public recourse. _

_After months of living in Boston after the rape, I decided to start my own crisis management firm with Huck as my right hand guy. Moving to D.C. wasn't that hard of a choice. I knew that I would have more support due in part because of Cyrus, James and Ella. _

_Ever since that night I never felt worthy enough to be with someone. So when I saw Fitz for the first time I did not want to get my hopes up that he could ever look at me with a sort of longing. _

_But as the saying goes expect the unexpected. _

"_Hi" _

"_Hi"_

"_I'm Fitzgerald, but you can call me Fitz"_

"_I'm Olivia Pope, nice to meet you"_

"_The pleasure is all mines"_

_Our relationship started out with one word. That one word changed everything. It made me feel something in the pit of my stomach that I have never felt before. Even when I felt loved by Edison I never felt this way before. Fitzgerald was going to break me. But I wasn't sure if it was going to be a good thing or bad thing. _

**Knock, Knock**

"Shit!" He's here. I'm going to just ignore it. Maybe he will go away.

**Knock, Knock**

"Liv, Olivia. I know you are in there. I can hear the TV"

Crap I forgot to turn down the TV in the den. "Do not answer Liv, Do not answer" I kept chanting in my head.

"Please just answer the door" he pleaded

"Do not answer, do not answer" I chanted over and over again

"You know I love you. And I know you love me too. Why do you keep fighting this?"

"Why? I will never stop loving you and I will never stop fighting for you. Forever. To the moon and Back. So please just answer the door."

"Do not answer" I repeated in my head.

I slid down the door and waited till he left. He finally did after a few hours. Probably because my neighbor asked if he was a stalker. I knew I was hurting him, but a part of me had some strange satisfaction over doing it.

It took me forever to get to sleep. The only peace I received was that tomorrow I could finally breathe and confront my demons head on. Tomorrow I was heading to Boston. To where my life took a turn. And I was hoping that by the end of it I would be stronger and ready to face my fears.

Tomorrow would start a brand new me.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I thought I had updated the story but it turn out I did not. Oops ****. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. BTW Scandal is not mine but I wish it was (don't we all?). **

Driving into Boston the next day brought back nostalgia and pain. It was great being back in the city that I used to love and work in. But it also held memories of pain and innocence that was taken from me.

After parking my car, I made my way into the Hotel Lobby.

"Check in for Natasha Clear" I stated when I reached the front desk

"Alright Ms. Clear you will be staying in room 530" she replied after looking up my confirmation in the system.

As I made my way up in the elevator I felt like a weight had finally been lifted off of my shoulders. I would finally have time to process everything that happened to me ALONE. Without any stress or expectations. After entering the room and lying down on the bed I decided to go ahead and take a nap.

**KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK**

"uh who is at the door"

"Room service" a voice called out

Why would I have room service? I never ordered or asked for anything. I opened the door and standing behind it was a maid with flowers.

"um…are those mine"

"yes mam, they are" and she handed the flowers to me.

"Thank you" I closed the door and placed the flowers on the far table in the room. It seemed really weird that I would be receiving flowers at a hotel where I did not register my real name. I picked around the flowers looking for a card and I finally found it stuffed in the middle.

It read: To the love of my life, please forgive me.

From Fitz

"CYRUS!" I screamed "Urgh! I told him not to tell him anything"

I picked up my phone and dialed Cyrus's number. He picked up right away almost like he knew I was going to call him.

"Hi Olivia, how are you?" he asked me in a cheerful voice

"I cannot believe you told him were I was staying." I spoke calmly into the phone

"Look Liv, I did it because I know that you two belong together. If I did not do it you would continue to run away and you need to at least hear him out."

"Cyrus, you are my family. Not his. I asked you to do one thing for me and you could not do it. Do you want to know why I needed to leave? It's because I was raped last year. And no it was not by him it was by Edison and his two cousins. I came back to Boston so I could finally think freely and try to close the chapter of my life that has changed me. I needed time to process my relationship with Fitz and whether or not I am fully healed from my ordeal that happened last year." I ranted into the phone

"I am sorry that I did not tell you about what happened last year. But when I told you that I needed to get away for a little bit and not to tell Fitz where I was going, I expected you to at least take my side. Since you are my godfather not Fitz's. So next time when I ask you to do something for me you should do it. Since I am the one that is actually family. Not Fitz. Okay?"

I knew I was being a bit harsh to Cy, but he needed to know that what he did was wrong.

"My god Olivia, you should have told me what happened. When I find Edison I am going to kick his ass…"

"Cyrus no he's not worth it. I am trying to heal and threatening to pummel Edison will not help the situation. Even if it makes you feel better."

"And I am sorry that I told him where you are staying. I thought that I was helping you. And I just want you to know that you do come first in my life before Fitz. I was just trying to do what I thought was right."

"I know that Cy, I am just annoyed that now he knows where I am going to be for the next few days."

"I understand that. I should have thought it through. Please tell me you will forgive me right?"

"Of course I forgive you Cyrus. You're the only family I have left. Just next time you want to interfere in my life think about it a bit more." I told him after that we hung up the phone.

Why, why, why! All I ask for is a few days alone and I still cannot get it. Did I piss off someone in my previous life? Seriously. I am Olivia Pope. I am a Gladiator. I should be able to handle this. This is just my time to handle the bad parts of life. I really hope that the rest of my trip runs smoothly.


End file.
